


Vampire

by theobligatedklutz



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Blood and Injury, Boys In Love, Caleb Covington Being a Bastard, Developing Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Mutual Pining, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, Vampires, Violence, Willie Loves Alex Mercer (Julie and The Phantoms), caleb covington has his own warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29685339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theobligatedklutz/pseuds/theobligatedklutz
Summary: “You want the truth, Alex? Here's the truth. Everyone at this party is a vampire. And I'm trying not to get you killed so I need you to stop being so fucking stubborn for one minute.”Alex falls in love with Willie slowly and then all at once. Except when have things been easy for him when it comes to the people he loves.Or vampires exist.
Relationships: Alex Mercer/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Bobby | Trevor Wilson & Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters, Caleb Covington & Alex Mercer, Caleb Covington & Willie, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 41
Kudos: 246





	Vampire

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on [Vampire](https://open.spotify.com/track/0SRPuTnr5QOKRoIxMvvlgK?si=-rYwrvx6QguKOnbzET-3_A) by Dominic Fike
> 
> Also made a playlist for this 20K FIC???? [Here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7aU2IQn4ZPJQ9vLCUqMMWj?si=WBr9D3BEQT2PiK0TvQcErg)
> 
>  **Warnings:** Swearing, Violence, Homophobia (Language)

It’s two days before Halloween and Alex has taken a late shift when he sees the boy for the first time. The thrift store is rife with dust-laden costumes from last year and every wall is covered with creepy old masks that seem to stare into the soul a little more every time you linger on them for longer than necessary. 

The smell of mothballs and cheap plastic is so thick in the air that if Alex wasn’t so used to it by now, he would have an insufferable ache behind his eyes.

He’s doodling a drumset in the margins of his Calculus homework during the slow hours but he looks up immediately when the bell above the glass door chimes.

The boy is gorgeous. That’s the only way Alex can think to describe him. Tan skin and a set of jarring brown eyes and intentionally messy brown hair waterfalling around broad shoulders. And Alex thinks maybe he’s a little bit in love.

Flynn has told him time and time again not to ogle the customers – "It's bad for business." "Not if I'm discreet." –, not to stare at every beautiful man that walks into the store like they're pieces of meat. But she doesn’t understand that this side of L.A. is chock full of men that have no right looking like greek gods, all tall-dark-handsome, chiseled cheekbones and _jaw._

This is the first time someone epitomizing exactly _that_ has met his eyes like this, like Brown Eyes thinks he is just as pretty if not more.That can’t be true though. Not when he’s wearing his baggy pink Champion hoodie with the sleeves hanging over his fingers and his blonde hair falling on his forehead– not in a cute disheveled way like the boy is sporting but in a rolled out of bed, wore whatever he found lying on the floor kind of way. 

Brown Eyes has a skateboard tucked into his side, under his arm. He's wearing loose jeans ripped at the knees and a blue-green tie-dye tee reaching just above his waist, fraying at the edges and showing off a strip of skin that Alex tries to keep his eyes off of. This would be the equivalent of "eyes up here, pal" and when Alex does look back up into the boy's eyes, he realizes he's been _caught._

 _Alex has been caught_ _checking Brown Eyes out. Oh no. Oh fuck._

_Maybe there's still some way to save himself. Save this. Greeting! Greet him. And be suave about it, Alex!_

His inner monologue voice sounds so much like Luke that he wants to roll his eyes.

Alex is probably about to open his mouth and embarrass himself. Like that one time a cute blonde entered the store and Alex said “store to the welcome.” Or that other time he tripped over his own feet in front of the resident Adonis (soon to be resident chump by the way Brown Eyes is already climbing up Alex's self-created ranks of hottest Los Feliz men).

He repeats every variation of the store greeting in a loop in his head. _Welcome to the store. Welcome to Petal Pushers. Welcome, let me know if I can help with anything._

But it’s like Brown Eyes can tell he’s nervous. The corners of his mouth tick up in a friendly smile and his eyes crinkle with it and _oh my god._ Alex’s mind promptly blanks like someone’s stuffed a vacant white sheet of paper into his brain. The boy nods in greeting, his hair swaying with the bob of his head before he disappears down an aisle. 

Alex wants to turn into a puddle on the floor right this minute. 

He deflates into his stool, feels like he’s blown it. This is the first time it has ever felt like some cute boy wasn’t looking right through him and he’s blown it.

It’s minutes later when Alex sees him again. Brown Eyes peeks from behind a shelf right in front of the counter. He’s wearing one of those goofy groucho masks from the back of the store. Black glasses frame his eyes and an over the top large plastic nose obscures most of his face. He twists the bushy mustache sitting above his lips and a bubble of laughter bursts through Alex’s mouth before he can stop it. He’s not sure he wants to stop it because the boy seems satisfied with his effort. A wide smile splits his face before he hides back around the corner. 

Alex huffs out a chuckle. He pulls a mask off from a nearby display and dusts it off before he presses it onto his face, a well-placed thumb under his jaw to keep it on.

When the boy leans back to look at him, he isn’t expecting it. His eyes widen as he takes in Alex’s golden masquerade mask slanting over half his face and accentuating his amused little smile, white teeth and pink lips.

Something clicks. They both feel it. And when Brown Eyes shuffles over to the counter, leaning close and uttering a “hi” softly into the air between them, Alex is pretty sure he’s dead.

 _He’s dead. And this is heaven because this incredibly beautiful creature is talking to him_ _–_ _he has a mesmerizing voice, it’s soft and firm all at once and it steadies Alex’s nerves and he is talking to_ him _._

“Hi.” Alex replies, plucks the mask off his face. He abandons it on the counter in lieu of crossing his arms and leaning just a few inches over the glass to cover more of the distance between them.

“I’m Willie.”

_Willie. Willie. Willie._

It fits him perfectly, somehow makes the Victorian concrete surfer vibe he’s giving off all the more prominent. 

But more than anything, Alex is elated by the fact that he has mysterious boy’s name. Alex never gets a name. They all know his name, it’s boldly printed on his nametag but none of them share their own names with him so Alex takes drastic measures, gets creative and names them all some variant of hot boy in his head.

 _But today, he has a name._ Brown Eyes' name is Willie and he’s easily the sexiest man that has ever walked into the store. Alex is pretty sure acquiring Willie’s name somehow makes him all the more attractive.

His heart stutters in his chest at the way Willie tucks a piece of hair behind his right ear and he catches the little gold loop hanging from his ear lobe.

He’s immediately sent back to age 15 when he had first googled 'signs someone may be gay' and stumbled upon an article about the 'gay ear.' How men back in the 80s and 90s wore jewelry in their right ear to signify their sexuality. It’s an ancient thing. Men nowadays wear earrings in both their ears, it's the height of fashion. But Willie feels like he’s taken a time machine forward into 2020 anyway, like he’s not from this decade but he might as well be if he so pleases.

It doesn’t stop the small little hopeful feeling growing in Alex's chest, warming his body up and making his insides giddy.

“I’m Alex.” He replies, all soft – going for effortless –, even though his name is right there for the taking. He knows Willie has seen it with how his eyes subtly flitted down to the nametag when he had entered the store. But he still feels like he has to say it for it to be real to Willie.

He has only just met Willie and he already doesn’t want to be just Petal Pushers' counter boy to him.

“Nice to meet you, _Alex_.”

_Why does Willie have to say his name like that? Like he has been searching for that name, for him. Like he’s been a thirsting man and Alex is the little hopeful body of water he’s finally discovered at the edge of the desert after years of struggling, shrivelling, withering._

But really, Alex feels like maybe he was the one withering and Willie came in and made him laugh, made everything feel a little more real.

* * *

_Here is the thing about Luke, Reggie, Bobby and Alex. They have big dreams but no foundation or stability to make them a reality._

_They want to move in together for college. They want to invest in their band. They need Sunset Curve to be a household name. But all of that is good on paper but nothing without the actual paper._

_Money that none of their parents are willing to indulge. Not for dreams that inhabit heads but show no hints of being practical. No matter how many times Luke falls into a screaming match with his mom about how much he believes in it. It’s not a just paper dream. Music is his life. “I’ll prove you wrong, just watch.”_

_But money is the problem. Two years prior, Bobby convinces his parents it's worth the shot. T_ _hey tell him if the boys can make half of the start-up money, they’ll provide the rest._

 _Luke and Reggie get a job at a local cafe to scrounge for the money. Bobby works at the music store down the block and Bobby’s neighbor, Mrs. Dubois, offers Alex a job at her thrift store._ _Mrs. Patterson gets Luke a new guitar in that same year. Their parents slowly all come around except for Alex’s parents._

_He comes out a month later and ends up on the street with whatever he can carry on his back and his drumsticks clutched tightly like a lifeline in his hands. He finds home on Bobby’s garage couch and practically moves in. Mr. and Mrs. Wilson never make a peep about their newly acquired teenager._

_Alex doesn’t just make money for his dreams anymore, he saves money for his life, for that extra plate at the Wilsons’ dinner table. Day in and day out, after school and on weekends, he works 9-5 at the Petal Pushers._

_After the rejection dealt out by his parents, he doesn’t expect Garett and Penelope Wilson’s reaction when he offers his first paycheck to be what it is._

_“For the food and the water usage and…” Alex counts the things he’s used in the house on his fingers and a gentle hand folds over his, pushing the proffered check back._

_Mrs. Wilson shakes her head, brushes away tears from her eyes that Alex doesn't understand. “For your dreams. We don't need it, Alex. Save it for your dreams.”_

_Alex cries for the first time that night. Wet cheeks pressed into the cushions. A heavy blanket tucked around his shoulders and shuddering breaths leaving his lungs._

_For your dreams._

“For your dreams.” The words are said with so much fervour and conviction Alex thinks nothing ahead is impossible. There’s heat behind his eyes and he blinks it back, focusing on the way Willie’s sunbathed hair is pulled back into a ponytail to clear the blur at the edge of his lash line.

He is sat on a bench tucked into a wall across from the store, on his lunch break, when Willie finds him.

He folds his legs over the lip of the bench, presses his knees alongside Alex’s legs like he belongs there. Alex stares at the box Willie is holding out for him. It’s neatly wrapped in golden gift paper.

“What is it?” Alex takes another sip of his iced coffee, settles it between his legs before gently grasping the box from Willie’s hands.

Willie smiles at him, the smile that reaches all the way up to his eyes. Which are so much darker today, even in the sunlight they look heavier in colour than usual. “You have to open it to find out, dummy.”

He unwraps it slowly. Strokes a thumb over the smooth gloss of the paper and the ridges of the tape that keeps the whole thing intact like he’s never felt anything of the sort before.

He can tell it infuriates Willie. The slowness of his actions and his need to appreciate the little things.

That’s one of the first things he learns about Willie. He's impatient when it comes to speed and he likes going fast. On his skateboard, on his feet, in their friendship. Everytime they hang out, Willie has their days planned out to a T and everything is so fast Alex is afraid to blink for fear of missing it.

Sometimes, Willie is too _fast_. Not humanly possible fast and he just shrugs his shoulders, tells Alex he’s a runner. 

Alex has it jotted down in the mind list of things he wants to find out about Willie. That’s the other thing, Willie knows so much about him. He willingly shares every piece of himself with this beautiful boy who’s shown up everyday at the store ever since the first day. Willie has made having a minimum wage job so much more entertaining than it's supposed to be. And Alex is more happier than he's ever been but he’s scared of verbally admitting that.

The last time he said those words out loud, actually felt happy, his parents kicked him out of the house. So he’s happy but he’ll keep it to himself.

“Just open it.” Willie huffs out, tapping a finger over his bare shin in impatience.

Alex pulls back the lid, looks at the gold embellished charm bracelet inside. There’s a little drumset and drumsticks and a mold of a rainbow already hanging on two of the loops. Next to them hangs a little masquerade mask charm. 

“Every time you reach a goal, you put a little charm on here to remind yourself that you’ve done it. You’re an _openly_ _gay_ _drummer_.” Willie says softly, poking a finger at the drumset-sticks and rainbow charms as he enunciates each word. “That’s accomplishment enough. And the little masquerade mask just reminded me of the first time we met so that’s just a you thing.”

Alex sets the bracelet back down into the folds of white cushion inside the box and presses the pads of his fingers against his eyes, covers his face with his hands. Willie sits up straight next to him like he’s wary all of a sudden.

“Do you- do you not like it? ‘Cause I can return it-” There’s a tinge of disheartenment in Willie’s voice when he says the words like he was really looking forward to giving this precious thing to Alex and expecting a different reaction.

“No, it’s perfect. It’s more than perfect. And it looks expensive and I can’t accept it." Alex looks up and he knows his eyes are red-rimmed by the way Willie’s mouth falls open. 

"Stop that, I'm not taking it back. You’re worth everything and more. So please don’t cry.” Willie clasps a hand over the one sitting on Alex’s lap, interlacing their fingers together and Alex shivers at the chill of Willie’s skin against his. It feels nice in the heat of May but it still send a jolt of electricity up his spine. He briefly wonders why Willie runs so cold even with the sun falling down all around them and seeping into their skins. 

Alex tries not to read too much into Willie's words. But it's hard when Willie is watching him with such kindness, such gentleness.

 _You’re worth everything and more._

All he gets from Willie are mixed signals. Willie is always so bewilderingly happy on days where Alex wants to do nothing but crawl into bed. And Alex swears sometimes Willie looks at him with something _more_ , says things to him that weigh _heavier_ in meaning _._ But then there are moments when Alex can’t read him. Moments of stoicism and confusion and a state of limbo. And he thinks maybe that’s why he hasn’t told Willie how he truly feels about him because what if he’s reading the signals wrong? What if these are all speculations and Willie is just trying to be a good friend and nothing more?

 _You’re worth everything and more._ Friends say that to each other while holding hands and stroking thumbs over knuckles like Willie does, right? Right, of course. 

That doesn’t stop the rush of warmth in his face and the feather-light tingling in his chest. 

“These are happy tears. Thank you. This is the best gift I’ve ever gotten.” Alex says the words slowly, locks eyes with Willie like he’s trying to translate to him how much this gift, his presence means to him. They are so incredibly brown and his lashes leave shadows on his cheeks from the overhead sun. His skin looks ablazed with heat yet all he manages to do is give Alex chills. 

And the thought hits him as he stares at Willie in the evening sun. It spills out into his mind with nonchalance. Still manages to hit him like a punch to the gut. It’s like someone has turned him upside down and shook him empty of all the raw emotions and feelings cluttered inside him. The thought swells and swells until it’s in every space, every crook and cranny of his mind and it’s all-encompassing:

 _He thinks he's falling in love with Willie and he doesn't know what to do. No, he_ knows _he's in love with Willie and he doesn't know what to do._

“I’m glad.” Willie flutters his eyes, unaware of how he’s just sent Alex into a whirl wind of emotions that he is not primed to handle. 

Willie wraps gentle fingers around Alex’s arm, brings it to his mouth and presses a light kiss against the inside of his wrist, right there over his veins. Alex can't help the shiver that leaves his mouth at the tickle of Willie's lips.

He feels that connection again. A jolt of heat gathering at the pit of his stomach and warm thrumming through his blood. 

It’s too tender. _This is too tender to be just friends. None of it makes sense._ Alex figures if nothing is going to be real, he might as well go with the flow.

He watches the way Willie closes his eyes, the way his nose flares like he’s breathing Alex in but he pulls away before Alex can think on it. He grabs the bracelet from the box still sitting on Alex's lap and clips the gold band around Alex’s wrist, thumbing it once before letting his hand go.

And that’s the tipping point. That's the liquid boiling over, spilling down the edges of the pot into oblivion. That’s all it takes to break Alex down to his core, leave him raw and vulnerable.

Willie is naive to it all. Naive to how he is unraveling Alex with each tender touch, each warm word.

It feels like, in any given moment, Alex will lose form, spill through the honeycomb gaps of the bench and cease to exist.

The words tumble out of him before he can stop them.

“I’m happy. I’m really happy. Thanks, Willie.” Alex twists his wrist around, watches with fascination as the metal catches the light of the day, glints like thousands of pieces of glitter arranged together on his skin.

He grabs Willie’s hand again, crosses their fingers together. Wonderstruck by how perfectly their hands connect like two searching puzzle pieces.

_He doesn’t realize just then that he’s admitted to being happy and that never ends well. No, not well. It simply ends._

* * *

“Are you in love with him?” 

It’s Bobby who asks. It’s quiet and serious, not unusual for him since he’s a romantic at heart. And ever since he met him for the first time in 7th grade, Alex has found that Bobby watches too closely and thinks too much and says profound things whenever he opens his mouth.

Alex lifts his head from where it's perched on Luke’s stomach, looks straight at Bobby tucked into his bedroom couch, strumming a stringy tune on his rhythm guitar. He’s sure he has a deer-in-the-headlights look on his face because one corner of Bobby’s mouth ticks up. _Got you!_

“I don’t know.” He utters softly, like he’s thinking hard about something. He settles his head back on Luke’s stomach, squints at the bumpy texture of the white ceiling and tries to decipher his feelings.

“Dude! You’re totally whipped for him.” Luke chuckles, the rumble jostles Alex and he sighs. 

“I said I don’t know. Shut up.” He huffs out, pushes up off the ground and off of Luke but not before elbowing him in the stomach. Luke grunts, glares at Alex and tries to kick him in the shin. Alex is already moving away, grabbing his drum sticks from Bobby’s nightstand and twirling them between his fingers as he sits next to Bobby like he’s choosing sides.

Luke pouts as if he’s been personally targeted. 

“Maybe. I don’t know. I can’t get enough out of the friendzone to find out.” Alex sighs, slides down the couch and puts an arm over his eyes.

“You just need to take it slow. Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Bobby nudges him with his shoulder, hooks a foot around Alex’s ankle in comfort.

“It would’ve been if they had Red Bull.” Luke says from the ground. He takes a large slurp from the blue-silver tin can by his side and Alex wants to kick him a little.

“That ad is so dumb.” Reggie shuffles in through the bedroom door, pulls off his bass duffel from his shoulder and gently leans it against the side of the couch.

“But Reg- Reg, Red Bull gives you wings.” Luke whines, slams a fist into the hardwood floor. Things just don’t seem to be going his way it seems.

Reggie tucks himself next to Luke on the floor and they both watch the ceiling together like they are star-gazing. Alex briefly wonders whether that’s what he looked like when he was laying on Luke’s stomach, looking up at the ceiling with scrutiny.

“It does.” Reggie smiles, pats Luke lightly on his chest in support and Luke grins ear to ear like a madman.

“Ha! In your face, Alex! I have Reg on my side!” Luke whoops from the floor and Alex rolls his eyes like he is in the presence of a child. He is.

“Did you see Beautiful Stranger today?” Luke asks excitedly as if he’s been dying to ask that question since the minute Reggie walked in.

There’s a slight undertone of disappointment at not getting to see the beautiful girl that frequents the coffee shop way too often for how much coffee she doesn’t buy. Alex actually understands that feeling. He feels that same sinking way when he doesn’t work a day and consequently, doesn’t get to see Willie at the job. 

But Luke isn’t even dating the girl, doesn’t see her in his after hours but he’s head over heels for her. Alex wants to be concerned but he kind of gets that part too.

He's only seen her once and she is indeed a beautiful stranger. She has long curly hair that fall in ringlets against her back and it looks like the sun has come down himself and kissed her with a blessing because she is all golden and soft features and fiery eyes. If Alex swung in any different direction other than man town maybe his heart would be swooning just as much as Luke’s. 

“She was there. We talked for a bit. And then some stud came along and bought her coffee.” 

Luke whips his head, rage crosses his features, then jealousy and he sits up abruptly. “What did he look like?”

“Long hair, cropped tie-dye, skateboard and definitely out of a modeling magazine.”

And that has Alex sitting up on the couch too. “Does he wear a key around his neck?”

It’s random and too specific and Bobby gives him an odd look like Alex has had koo-koo puffs for breakfast. Alex bites at his thumb, leers at Reggie when he doesn’t answer right away.

“Uh...I think so. I was too busy looking at his face which, did I mention, definitely the best lookin’ dude around here. 'lex, you should make him number 1 on your stud list.” Reggie sits up next to Luke and glances over at Alex, a teasing smile in the curve of his lips that promptly washes off when he sees the expression on Alex’s face. Alex looks like he’s swallowed something sour and Reggie’s forehead wrinkles. He slides over the floor to him, puts a hand on Alex’s knee.

“I think I already have your stud man on the top of the list. And I think he's Willie.” Alex mutters quietly. He feels arms around him and turns his head to see Luke sitting on his other side, looking just as disappointed. He smushes a cheek into Alex’s shoulder and they all make room when Reggie slips in next to Luke.

Piled together on the too small leather couch with his family, Alex feels a little okay despite the thoughts swimming in his head.

_He’s sure about it. Unless there are crop-top wearing skateboarders with long hair and key necklaces on every block, he’s pretty sure that’s Willie._

_But Beautiful Stranger and Willie could just be friends. Friends buy each other coffee, right?_

“I buy your coffee all the time, Alex. It doesn’t mean we’re dating.” Bobby whispers into his other shoulder and it’s like the voice in his head and Bobby’s voice mingle together to build the foundation of his resolve. 

He doesn’t give up hope.

* * *

“Are you dating anyone?” Alex tries to be nonchalant about it, arranges and rearranges the new nail polishes in one of the displays under the glass counter.

He doesn’t know when exactly Mrs. Dubois decides to start selling new merchandise but he’s not complaining. If anything, he’s happy that he doesn’t have to constantly disinfect everything that comes into the store. 

Willie looks over at him like he’s grown another head and puts down the rubix cube he’s found in the miscellaneous cart in the toys section.

Alex hears feet approaching him before he sees blue vans stopping behind the glass counter. He stiffens his shoulders, gets ready to be rejected so it doesn’t come out of left field like it did when he told his parents (even though he should’ve expected that).

“Alex?” Willie asks. There’s something there Alex can’t pinpoint about how Willie says his name but it makes the breath stuck in his lungs fall back out of his mouth. He looks up. Willie is hovering, leaning over and looking down at where he’s crouched down behind the counter. “What did you say?”

Alex sighs, rubs his sweaty palms on his jeans before he uses the edge of the glass to stand back up. He looks Willie directly in the eye like the nerves aren’t derailing him way off course and asks again. “Are you dating anyone, Willie?” 

It’s not subtle this time. There’s desperation woven into every word he speaks and Willie looks confused like he can’t read Alex.

It’s not difficult. Alex is clearly a mess, an open book and he wears his heart on his sleeve and any other idiom that can overlay that his mind is inside out on his face. 

“No. I’m not dating anyone but there is someone.” Willie brushes a lock of hair off of his face and Alex can't help the way his eyes are drawn to the glint of the new earring in his ear. He knows it’s new. It’s a small gold loop with a little dainty moon hanging below it and it brings out Willie's eyes.

It seems he notes Willie’s right ear every time he sees him now, almost like it’s a confirmation that Willie is still available. Even though it makes no sense, it’s instinctual at this point.

This time though, instead of the hope filling his chest at the sight of the earring, he feels resentment and despair for himself for being a complete idiot. His heart sinks around his feet at the words sitting heavy in the air. 

_There is someone._

“Oh.” _This is fantastic. Willie is pining over Beautiful Stranger while Alex is pining over him. Outstanding. Someone kill him already._

Willie leans his elbow on the surface, his cheek to his palm, and stares at Alex again like he’s studying him. It’s almost an exact image of Alex’s posture when he watched Willie goof around the store the first time they met.

Alex is pretty sure he was gawking at Willie then, screaming _hello hi you’re incredibly hot please go out with me_ with his eyes.

Willie, however, gazes at him almost too tenderly now.

“What?” Alex asks, scratches at his cheek like he’s trying to wipe whatever has caught Willie’s attention on his face. “Why are you staring at me?”

“No reason.” Willie ducks his head, hides his smile before sliding his hand over the glass. He pulls out a crisp five dollar bill out of his pocket and places it next to his proffered hand. Alex looks at him, a brow raised in confusion. Willie stifles a laugh, nudges his head over to the display board clipped to the front of the counter, amusement at the crinkles of his eyes.

**$3 - MANICURES**

Oh.

“What colour?” Alex tries to sound like he isn’t utterly heartbroken.

He’s not completely incompetent at painting nails and if it means it’ll get his mind off of his unrequited love, he’ll go for it.

He wipes a hand over the sweat gathering on his brow bone and dips to open the glass cabinet, hovering his fingers over the nail polishes. 

“Black.” Willie says immediately, hazel eyes already wandering to the bottle of black. Alex plucks it out, unscrews the plastic cap and gets to work.

He applies a clean coat of glossy black over Willie’s fingernails, trying not to touch his hand more than necessary. He’s almost done, sticks his tongue out in concentration as he paints the small square of Willie’s pinky and feels the weight of eyes on his face when Willie says the next words like he’s discussing the weather.

“You’re someone.” 

Alex halts, flits his eyes up through long lashes to look at Willie. "What?”

“There is someone I want to date. You’re that someone, ‘lex.”

There’s a puddle of black nail polish on the counter when Alex shutters and fumbles back like he’s been struck by lightning. He scrambles for the towel hanging on a hook on the wall behind him, a string of apologies leaving his mouth as he wipes down the counter and tries not to meet the eyes of the boy in front of him.

But there’s cold fingers on Alex's knuckles, halting his movements and he freezes, gasps out a breath.

“I’ve been trying to show you without words. I’ve been flirting and trying to woo you. But I’m the idiot for thinking you’d be able to tell. And I’m sorry if you think I’m going out with someone that isn’t you because that’s practically impossible for me at this point and if I’m reading this wrong, just tell me. Because I’ll-”

“Will you go out with me?” Alex cuts Willie off, looks up at him then, wide eyes and a sharp red dusting his cheeks, the column of his neck and the shell of his ears. His whole body feels like it's on fire.

Alex is pretty sure he sees Willie lick his lips like he’s parched all of a sudden.

He wants to kiss those lips so badly and Willie has the same idea because he’s bending over, basically climbing the counter to get closer to Alex. 

They’re so close Willie’s nose knocks against his own and Alex can see Willie’s eyes darken like he’s about to satiate an eternal hunger and then, the bell above the door rings.

* * *

He doesn’t know how it happens. Well, he does. But there are too many details that are still unclear in his head, and forgive him if he doesn’t want to be an unreliable narrator.

He does know that he's locking up after a late shift like he usually does when he works nights on Fridays. And he uses the backdoor to leave because that’s where he parks his bike.

Willie hasn’t come in since he ran off after their almost first kiss, and that was a week ago. Alex is kind of worried because he was starting to get used to seeing that sunshine face, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans or shorts looking effortless and put together and a thousand other words that describe that disheveled, smoking hot skater boy look Willie has perfected. He did realize about four days ago that he had become too reliant on Willie and now he can’t even function without him.

But more than anything, he feels like maybe he’s been blown off. Like Willie was stringing him along only to abandon him when things got serious.

 _Oh god. He is so over the dramatic conflict, he just wants his happy ending._ That sounds so dramatic and impossible that Alex wants to laugh.

He hasn’t smiled at any store frequenters or provided what Mrs. Dubois calls "gold star customer service" for that matter. He’s pretty sure he’s one more monotonous store greeting away from being fired. He knows he can’t be hung up on some – albeit beautiful – boy when he has goals he needs to achieve. He _needs_ this job which is why he’s going to go home today, cry a little (a lot) and get his shit together so he can give every person that enters the store tomorrow the best fucking day of their life.

He pockets the store keys, turns away from the door and then, there’s a gust of wind around him even though the night as well be a vacuum with how stiflingly humid it is.

He’s slammed into the brick wall that lines the right side of the back exit and the light bulb above him, dangling from the ceiling, has been broken for years so he doesn’t even see who’s ambushed him.

The breath is knocked out of him. His lungs feel like they’ve taken a beating and there’s a searing pain in his back. Blind violent fear climbs through his body, sends terror up his spine and he knows he should probably scream because this person could be a mugger or a-

He opens his mouth to yell, do something but just stand there pinned by two freakishly strong hands on his forearms, keeping him against the wall. 

Before he can do anything though, there’s soft lips against his own. Moving slowly and pressing further into him. The hands at his forearms move up, calloused thumbs tuck into the space under his ears and long fingers curl into his hair tugging lightly to pull Alex closer.

It’s _Willie._ He’s sure it’s Willie. He _knows_ those hands. Knows the planes and folds and raised skin that embellish Willie’s hands. 

The light bulb above them flickers once, twice before turning on and flooding them with yellow light and it’s like the first time all over again.

 _It is Willie._ Willie with his hair half clipped up and half down, sitting just past his shoulders and long lashes fanning over pronounced cheeks. _And this is their first kiss. This is their_ first kiss.

_Oh. My. God._

Alex pushes forward, kisses back. He brings his hands up so his fingers settle over the base of Willie’s throat, pulling him closer so they’re chest to chest. His thumb strokes over a pulse point and he feels excitement strum over his whole being at knowing Willie’s heart beats just as fast for Alex as Alex’s heart beats for him. Like a raging, jarring thunder in their ribcages. 

Willie bites at Alex’s bottom lip, gently, not enough to break the skin but enough to make Alex want more. But before Alex can chase that high, Willie pulls back. He breathes softly like he's relieved and happy.

The haze in Alex’s mind clears enough that he can partially function again and he opens his eyes to meet Willie’s, blinks at the way the light catches the browns, almost golden, of his eyes making them glint softly.

“Willie?” Alex asks, gulps in a breath he’s been struggling to find. 

“Hi drummer boy.” He says it with so much fondness that for a second, Alex forgets that he is frustrated with Willie initiating their first kiss by giving him half a heart attack. And frustrated that Willie had just gone and disappeared on him. But can he blame Willie when he’s been giving Alex heart palpitations since the first day he stepped into Petal Pushers? 

All in all, Willie is not good for his heart. He knows it too but like a moth knowing full well that it’ll burn away if it touches the flame and doing it anyway, he can’t seem to care that somewhere deep inside in the back of his head – in some locked room with DO NOT ENTER written in big black horror-movie-style letters on the door –, he knows Willie is bad news. Knows it in the way Willie looks at him sometimes and the way he disappears without explanation. Knows it in the way Willie wears a cloak of secrecy like a second skin. 

“That’s not funny. Wipe that grin off your face. I thought I was gonna get mugged or killed. Why would you do that?” Alex wants to push Willie away, but Willie's thumbs are pressing softly at the shells of his ears and it feels too good to pass up. He furrows his eyebrows, at least tries to act mad at Willie.

Willie gets a strange look in his eyes that Alex nails as protective because the actual thought of Alex being hurt hurts him, angers him and just as quickly as it comes, it’s gone, replaced by soft apology.

“I’m sorry. I just...I missed...you.” Willie looks down, moves to pull away. “I really missed you.”

“No, don’t.” Alex whispers. He grabs Willie’s wrists swiftly, brings Willie's hands back so they’re cradling his face and he's covering his fingers with his own. “Stay. Please. I missed you too...Where’d you go?”

Willie seems to look down at his feet, as if the answers are pooling around his scruffy vans just waiting to be plucked off the ground and used to answer Alex’s questions.

“I went to visit my cousins. I couldn’t come see you before. And I didn’t exactly have your phone number so I could text you the details.” 

It’s a lie. Alex can tell. Willie is lying to him. But his eyes scream _believe me because the actual truth is too painful and too big of a risk so please believe me._

Alex opens his mouth, gets ready to argue but Willie lunges forward, catches his lips again and all thoughts drive themselves out or get sweeped into a corner of the DO NOT ENTER room in his head. Something to think about later if Alex wants to choose to open that can of worms. He doesn’t.

That’s why it doesn’t even occur to him for years after that broken light bulbs don’t magically get fixed just because you have a mind blowing kiss with the boy you love.

* * *

He’s stocking up new donations, hanging old band tees on metal bars close to the ceiling at the back of the store when he comes across a Redbone Tee that he knows Willie would love. 

He’s been dating him for four months now and if there is one thing he knows Willie loves, it's Redbone. He wants to know so much more but there's this wall Willie keeps up that Alex has been trying to get through since they first met. He's had no luck. Willie is relentless. Being an enigma is apparently a personality trait. And Alex keeps thinking that maybe the secret-keeping and half-truths are going to be the thing that breaks them up.

Luke says he's being a pessimist but what does Luke know about being in the dark about everything? He knows more about his Beautiful Stranger than Alex knows about Willie. Julie – it took Luke a month to find out her name, an amazing feat because Julie hardly gave anything away and then all at once, shared so much with Luke like they were long lost lovers, like they were soulmates – who frequents the coffee shop so much that Luke knows her coffee order by heart. Alex doesn't even know Willie's coffee order and he's known him way longer.

Whenever Alex pushes, Willie pulls away and it’s just a game of tag that Alex is tired of playing. It breaks his heart but he shakes it off, swallows the lump forming in his throat and breathes out slowly.

He smoothes a hand over the red text on the front of the t-shirt before he takes the fabric off the hanger and hangs it over his shoulder. He'll hide it in the back and buy it for Willie later. He goes back to hanging tees by colour just as he hears the sound of the store door opening and closing.

“I’ll be right there!” He says when he hears Willie call his name.

He lays the rest of the t-shirts on an unfinished pile over the bar and goes to climb down the ladder but in his excitement, he misses a rung like some novice on the job. He yelps as he trips and falls back.

He’s pretty sure he’s about to break his neck and he can just imagine the amount of teenagers that would tell haunted ghost stories about the boy who died in that old thrift store down at Wellesley. Alex wants to die of embarrassment at the mere thought of that. But wait, it’s already happening. He’s embarrassed and about to die. 

He clenches his eyes shut waiting for the explosive pain of making impact with the hard floor but instead, he's cushioned by firm arms. He automatically wraps his own around strong shoulders, long hair tickling the side of his face.

When he opens his eyes, there’s Willie.

One arm hooked under Alex’s knees and one around his back keeping him upright. There's a small smile on his face and _god, Willie is glowing today_ but that’s beside the point because _what just happened?_

That is impossible.

Willie was just at the entrance, he didn’t imagine it. It was not possible to reach the back of the store at any amount of speed that quickly, not even if Willie ran. He couldn't have reached Alex in time. _He couldn't have._

Willie can tell. He can tell Alex is trying to figure it out. Knows the wheels are turning in his head because Alex is sure he's making it obvious.

Willie settles him back on the ground, lets him go only when Alex has balance back in his feet.

“Willie…” Alex starts like he knows Willie knows that nothing here makes sense. Willie pulls back like he’s ready to run off, he leans down slowly to grab the skateboard he’d abandoned on the ground in his haste to catch Alex.

Alex shakes his head. _No. Not today._

His patience shatters.

“No. _Don’t_ _you dare run away_ , Willie.” Alex has his jaw clenched and he follows him, takes a step forward for every step Willie takes back. “I’ve been trying to ignore it. I’ve been letting you lie to me time and time again, letting it go when you tell me to let it go. I thought I could save us if I did but I can’t live like that forever. You weren’t with your cousins when you disappeared, your eyes keep changing colour and I can’t keep up with them and you’re most definitely not a runner even though that’s all you seem to know how to do when you’re around me. So tell me the truth just this _one_ time!”

“Alex, it’s nothing. _Believe_ me.” Willie placates, runs a rough hand through his loose hair, tugs at them violently. Alex has to force himself not to grab Willie’s hands and loosen his grip because he’s hurting himself. 

“Will, _please_. Just tell me the truth.” Alex is begging him, desperate to know what he’s hiding because he’s _so_ tired.

The band tee lying over his shoulder feels heavy, like he’s carrying the world on his one shoulder but right now he can’t seem to care because Willie’s lower lip is shaking and sharp canines peek through between his lips, white against the rose pink. Willie slams his mouth shut, gulps down whatever he is about to say.

“I can’t tell you.” Willie lowers his head, looks down at his shoes. There are no answers available there anymore.

_I can't tell you._

_What is this? What are they if Willie can’t even tell him the truth? This is not a relationship. This is a bed of white lies that Alex doesn’t want to lie on anymore. Not with Willie._

Something shifts in the air.

"I can't do this anymore." Alex’s eyes fill with tears and he looks up at the ceiling, blinks them back. He wipes a hand down his face before his expression blanks like he’s put on a mask. Except this time there is nothing funny about it. There’s no fondness or unconcealed desire, just detachment and misery.

He tugs off the Redbone t-shirt, tosses it over a rack aimlessly and unclips the suddenly too cold gold band around his wrist. He grabs Willie’s hand, unfolds his clenched fist. The soft meat of his palm is littered with bleeding crescent shaped punctures like Willie didn't even realize he was hurting himself. Alex tries not to flinch at the sight, tries not to show how much it aches to see them.

_Willie is willing to do whatever just to keep Alex out of the loop. Alex doesn't matter to him. He never will._

_So Alex shouldn't care either. He wishes he couldn't care._

Alex gently settles the bracelet into Willie’s hand and walks past him, avoids brushing shoulders when he does. 

Willie jerks his head up, turns to follow him. Alex can hear the screeching feet against linoleum, no longer a sound of comfort, just pain.

He’s so tired of the people once closest to him wearing masks in front of him until they come crumbling down, when life gets complicated, when he wants the truth, when he wants to know how they actually feel about him. 

It all comes rushing back to him; his parents’ masks cracking at the foundation, revealing their true nature when Alex told his truth. Turning him away when he made things complicated. His mom called him impure, _dirty_ , the saccharine sweet face of a loving caretaker crumbling away, revealing a woman he didn’t know standing in front of him. His father told him he would not stand for “an ungodly smear” tainting his house, all signs of the man that had bought him his first drumset washed off like cheap paint. And Willie, who can’t even let Alex in. Willie who’s all fun and games but he doesn’t want to be serious with him, doesn’t even trust him enough to tell him what he’s up to half the time.

Alex can’t figure out what’s worse; people revealing their true faces and hurting him directly or someone who wears his mask so firmly on his face, all Alex gets are lies. 

Everyone is two-faced. Alex wants to abandon all hope that there are even genuine, good people out there. And the more distance he covers towards the counter so he can hide behind the safety of being nothing but a cashier and a Petal Pushers' employee, the more he thinks he can believe that.

Fingers wrap around the crook of his elbow. “‘lex, please. _Please_. _I love you_.”

Alex freezes like he’s been doused with ice cold water. 

There have been moments when Alex thought that maybe Willie would never say those words to him but here he is saying them and all they do is hurt him. They don’t give Alex the elation and utter warmth or the satisfaction of being loved back. If anything this feels like a last resort for Willie, like it’s one way he’s listed in his head to get Alex back, ingenuine and manipulative. It’s just another lie and Alex wants to cry and scream at the boy behind him. 

_Why would you say those words to me now? You don’t get to do that- You don’t get to-_

_Why?_

Hot tears gather on his lash line, threaten to fall and he can’t drive them away this time but he doesn’t care. He pastes on a fake smile, all teeth and no kindness, as he turns around to face _Brown Eyes._

“What can I do for you, sir?” It’s shaky around the edges but Alex prides himself in giving the stranger in front of him his best customer service voice. 

Willie shutters, stumbles back like he’s been slapped and Alex swallows down the prickly sorrow climbing up his throat, doesn’t change his expression. 

Doesn’t care that he’s hurt Willie when Willie has hurt him back worse.

He feels petty. This is so petty. He deserves to be petty.

If Willie can’t open up, he won’t either. Two can play at that game. Except Alex isn’t playing. He doesn’t know if he can even find it in himself to play any games when it’s his heart on the line.

He doesn’t want anything to do with Willie, not when he’s used Alex’s love for him as a weakness to get him back. Not when he’s done everything in his power to make this relationship one-sided.

Willie bites down on his quivering lips like he’s holding back his own tears. Alex feels like his facade is ripping at the seams as he watches Willie hobble out of the store on heavy feet. 

* * *

Willie stops coming to the store.

It’s unfortunate that they’ve had their fight on October 27th because the next day makes a whole year since Willex first met. 

_Willex._

_Reggie had suggested the ship name when Alex first mentioned Willie and they’d all made smoochy faces at him like they were in middle school. Alex had rolled his eyes, told them Willex was stupid and they couldn’t have a ship name._

_“Who made you the captain of ship names?” Reggie had pouted and Luke had kicked Alex in the knee for his disrespect._

To think it had somehow stuck in Alex’s head. It makes Alex smile before he remembers who makes the first half of the meshed name and his mood sours significantly.

He drags his feet to work, tosses the small gift-wrapped teal box into the garbage can outside the store carelessly like he hasn’t spent months on it.

He’s spent time on it. Days on the gift to make sure that it was just as perfectly put together as Willie’s gift was to him. Devoted months looking for the perfect little thing for Willie. Reggie and Luke had complained when he’d dragged them to the mall and Bobby had been his saving grace, showing him a cute little jewellery store that sold the same kind of dainty things Willie liked to wear for accessories.

At half-past ten, a blonde man with too much of a cheery demeanour by the name of Dante drops off a box for him, tells him it’s from a secret admirer but Alex isn’t stupid.

It’s wrapped just like the charm bracelet was, delicate golden paper and impeccably placed scotch tape, almost the same size as the first box– which he still has stored in one of the pockets of his backpack for no other reason than his stupid need for sentimentality.

He rolls his eyes, tells Dante to “take it back, I don’t want it. And tell _him_ to stop being a _coward_.” 

Dante steps back like he’s been personally insulted, leers at Alex and grits his teeth.

“Do you know _who_ he is-?” He stops halfway through his sentence like he’s been struck by lightning, lowers his eyes, places the box on the counter and walks out without another word.

Alex doesn’t understand it, doesn’t understand anything to do with Willie and this is not the first time he’s left confused by someone’s actions.

He doesn’t open the box. Thinks about throwing it away but instead, he tosses it in his backpack with the same inattention he gave his own gift and that thought alone sends him in a spiral of regret. He spends his whole lunch break rummaging through the trash can, his fingers heavy with grief.

He doesn’t find it. Imagines some druggie rifling through the garbage, coming upon his anniversary present to Willie and jumping for joy because it must be his lucky day. He's probably pawning it off right that minute to get his daily dose of crack while Alex stands there in his own defeat.

The imminent dam finally breaks. 

He stumbles over to the side of the road, sits at the edge of the curb in front of Petal Pushers and cries – _because why can’t he have his happy ending? why can’t the world revolve around him just for once? why can’t anything go right in his life?_ – with the heels of his hands pressed up into his eyes and ugly sobs leaving his mouth.

He might make a pathetic sight but he just doesn’t seem to care.

* * *

It’s exactly two days before New Year’s when Alex sees Willie again.

He hasn’t come to the store once since they– broke up? had their fight? Or in Luke’s words: since Willie bald-faced lied to Alex and Alex dumped him (“It wasn’t a dumping, Luke! It’s a relationship strike.”). 

It’s no relationship strike, it’s been two months and they are over. And Alex is so fucking stupid for holding out hope that Willie would come back, apologize and tell him the truth. 

Alex is sitting on a table in the corner of The Phantom with Reggie and Bobby waiting for Luke’s shift to be over so they can go skating at the local ice rink when Willie walks in.

This is the first time Alex has ever seen him with anyone and lo and behold, he has a group of friends almost all just as good looking as him. He sees the bubbly blond, that came to deliver the box, hand-in-hand with a taller brown-skinned man _–_ at least, someone’s having a healthy, happy relationship with mutual trust and no lies- and Alex is _not_ being petty _–,_ two teen girls that look exactly like each other (oh ok, hot twins) and Willie in the centre laughing like he has no worry in the world.

Wow. _Wow._ _He should’ve expected that._ It’s not like Willie knows any of his friends so why does it hurt that he knows none of his? Maybe because Alex had made an effort to introduce Willie to his friends but Willie has always found a way out of it like he only wanted to know Alex. At the time, it was flattering that Willie only wanted to expand to him –at least, he had convinced himself it was– but now it just feels like his tongue has been laden with something awfully bitter.

It’s also the first time Willie looks over at him only to look through him.

_And god, it hurts._

It feels like maybe someone has plunged a hand into his chest and pulled out his still beating heart, and a bad hangover all rolled into one.

He doesn’t even know Willie anymore.

_So what?_

Maybe he was wrong about Willie. Maybe he isn’t some down-to-earth captivatingly kind man that he’s head over heels for. Maybe Willie is just another jerk who knows exactly how beautiful he is and is impassive to anyone who doesn’t share his league and you know what? Good for him. It’s not like Alex cares. 

“Hey ‘lex. You’re crushing the coffee cup.” Reg says somewhere in the fringe of his thoughts and Alex wrenches his head away from the fucking jerk sitting two tables away from their’s. He is indeed throttling the paper cup in his hand, coffee pouring out of the punctures at its side. Bobby is already wiping the spill with paper towels and Reggie is looking at Alex like he’s ready to drive him over to the nearest hospital if he needs it.

He’s not going to keel over and die at the appearance of his ex(?) even though he knows he’s too cold, too clammy like the beginning of a bad fever courses through him. Even though he feels the scorching pain of a headache forming behind his eyes. 

Julie comes into the frame, takes a seat next to Willie and they brush shoulders like they’ve known each other for years. Alex feels wistful like maybe he would really like to befriend Julie because her smile lights up the room but more importantly, it seems to lighten the hollowness around Willie’s eyes. 

Just as breathtaking as Willie is, there’s not a question that he looks like he’s at death’s door. His eyes are darker today, accentuated with the blackening circles under them. He looks exhausted. Alex wonders for a brief second if maybe it’s because of him and their break up but a little voice in his head reminds him that it’s been two months, Willie is obviously over it, and _woah hey, that sounds a little too self-important_. Alex doesn’t exist in the centre of anyone’s world, definitely not Willie’s. Not when he’s lied to him.

People who care about each other enough to take space in each other’s worlds don’t blatantly lie and run away when things get difficult and they definitely don’t hide pieces of themselves. Willie has done all that and more and Alex has just turned a blind eye to all of it for too long.

Luke slides into the chair in front of Alex, obscuring the sight of Willie from his line of vision and he doesn’t know if he wants to thank Luke or smack him over the head. 

“Jules invited us to a New Year's Party!” Luke is practically vibrating in his seat. He looks over his shoulder and smiles at Julie who catches his eyes and grins back, her tooth gap making her face all the more vibrant.

“I think I’m going to ask her out.” Luke is flailing his hands around, buzzing with excitement. Alex _really_ tries to listen, tries to concentrate on how Luke tells them Julie had held his hand and smiled at him and they definitely had a moment and he was pretty sure he was going to die with how fast his heart was beating (Alex knows exactly how _that_ feels). 

Instead his eyes focus over Luke’s shoulder again, at Willie who’s already watching him right back. Willie doesn’t even acknowledge that he’s been caught, just continues to stare at Alex brazenly.

The corner of his mouth ticks up slowly in a lopsided smile when Alex meets his eyes but it looks more wicked than goofy. It definitely doesn’t send a shiver down Alex’s back, doesn't make the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. Willie leans an arm up against the table, splays his fingers over the side of his face like he's suddenly fascinated by Alex.

Alex narrows his eyes. He knows Willie is reading him, trying to catch every microexpression on his face and Alex begs the heavens, to whoever's looking out for him – which according to his church is no one – that he gives Willie nothing.

If Alex can’t figure him out on the best of days, Willie doesn’t deserve to know how he’s feeling right this minute. 

_Which, by the way, is like total crap. He feels like he’s been dragged over road gravel and dunked into freezing cold water._

He’s not stupid. He knows what Willie is doing. Notices the solid black polish gracing his nails– it obviously isn't the same job Alex did but he understands Willie’s intentions perfectly. Willie is attempting to remind him of memories he’s trying to bury, memories he can’t bear to look back at. 

He’s not oblivious to any of it. Maybe Willie seems to think so but there’s a murder board in Alex’s head now, lining the back wall of the DO NOT ENTER room and he’s starting to connect at least some of the dots. But Willie somehow disorients all of the progress even when he’s not around.

But he is. Alex knows he’s there. He knows the way Willie’s eyes weigh on him– comfortably warm and easy with an edge of vigilance.

Willie has been sneaking peeks, probably from the large window behind the counter of the store. But every time Alex turns around, tries to look for him, there’s no evidence Willie was ever there. Oh right, ‘cause he’s a _runner_ (Alex wants to laugh and cry all at once). 

Also, it’s no coincidence he’s sold a bottle of black nail polish to a different customer every single day since Willie has become absent from the store. Mrs. Dubois tells Alex he’s doing a really good job selling the new merchandise, orders a new shipment of black nail polish and gives him a promotion.

Alex can’t tell her that Willie is figuratively pulling his pigtails like they're in kindergarten by buying every last bottle in the store. It sounds so silly and he wishes he could grab Willie by the shoulders and shake him, tell him this is not how you win someone back. Willie thinks he’s slick but he’s a dumbass.

Fleetingly, Alex imagines the store room where Willie keeps all the nail polishes, adding a new glass bottle to his collection every time he sends a stranger into the store to buy him another one.

He almost smiles at the idea but stops himself when he remembers where he is, how Willie is still scrutinising him.

It’s not the nail polish that sends Alex reeling. It’s the ring. It’s the charm bracelet. 

There is a simple little silver band on Willie's pinky finger and Alex knows if Willie took it off right now, ' _You're that someone'_ would be engraved on the inside in the littlest letters imaginable.

Alex had spent a little extra cash getting the inscription done. Bobby, Reggie and Luke had pitched in, telling him it was no problem, not when Willie had given him his smile back.

It was part of the reason Alex broke down outside the store on the day of the anniversary. Because his friends helped him buy a gift only for him to throw it away. He didn’t even try to get some of the money back to return to them. And because their words revolved around his head like they were planning on making a home there.

_Willie had given him his smile back. Willie had given him his smile back. Willie had given him his smile back._

It’s the one year anniversary ring. Willie has the one year anniversary ring on his finger.

He must’ve seen Alex throw the gift out and fished it out of the trash can when he’d gone inside. He must’ve unwrapped it somewhere, alone, put it on like his world was complete and Alex had missed his expression. Alex had missed the feeling of giving it to Willie himself, doesn’t even know if Willie remembered the words he’d said to him. _You're that someone._

Alex can’t do this. He can’t be here. He’s about to leave when his eyes catch sight of the gold band. The charm bracelet. It sits hanging around Willie’s wrist like a memento, the little drumsticks gleam in the white cafe lights. 

Alex’s vision blurs with tears and he wipes at his face before standing up abruptly.

The metal chair he’s been sitting on screeches against the tiles, falls back with an explosive clack on the floor but Alex is already gone. The sound of the bell jingling from above the entrance doors of The Phantom reverberate through the silent cafe.

He can hear Luke yelling for him as the boys chase after him but he doesn’t stop. He wants to laugh at the irony because he has three boys chasing him but the one boy he actually wants never comes.

* * *

Willie is not interested in the annual New Year’s Party.

Caleb goes all out every year, all the works. Chocolate fountains and shrimp cocktails and eloquent music. Dazzling performers and lavish decorations and a grand glass window brandishing the ceiling, letting in the moonlight and flooding the centre of the expansive ballroom in a silvering, white sheen. No expense spared, that is the Covington way.

And Willie is honestly bored with all of it, no longer amazed by party tricks. He comes just to please his stepfather but it's just another showy party. It's just another year he won’t age and he’s tired, tired of living the same clock again and again. Time in a loop of identical months that fuse together in one big jumble of grey. A cycle of intolerable immortality.

Nothing changes.

It's like he's watching the ending credits of his own movie over and over again without any sight of the light at the end of the tunnel.

Until Alex. Alex is a sneaky little post credit scene. And Alex is the whole story, all rolled up into a soft vulnerable little human with too much love for pastel tees and pop rock music and an overindulgence in finding amusement in the little things.

Nothing is interesting to him until he meets Alex. Sweet, gorgeous, beautiful Alex who runs a boring, old thrift store. 

Alex first catches his eyes when Willie is skateboarding down Wellesley Street and a biker cuts him off. He’s about to holler at the man recklessly swerving over the concrete path when he catches gold in his peripheral vision. 

Willie has stopped in front of a thrift shop by the name of Petal Pushers. There's nothing different about this store, same old red bricks and black painted frames and glass panes as the rest of the shops on the block. Nothing particularly eye-catching. Except for what's – who's – inside.

The boy. _Alex._

The sun filters through the dust-ridden large store window, haloing over golden hair and green eyes that seem to be focused on a notebook, a pencil twirling between nimble fingers. He only gets a side profile then and when he strolls into the same store late that night seemingly goalless, he gets a full view of Alex and no man should look so adorable, so sensational under the ugly tint of white fluorescent lights. 

His hair looks like he’s run his hands through them multiple times and long fingers peek through a too-big pink hoodie but what's immediately attractive is the way he looks at Willie with fresh eyes.

Everyone looks at Willie like they want to climb into bed with him and they _always_ approach with that aim in mind. They are either bumbling teen girls or cocky immature boys and Willie lets them down gently. He’s not interested. _If anything, you don’t want anything to do with me._

Pink-Hoodie is interesting. Willie’s eyes glance down quickly to catch the name printed on the nametag.

 _Alex_.

Alex is nervous. He looks like he’s about to swallow his tongue in his attempt to form words and Willie saves him the effort, nods his head and slides into an aisle.

He has no interest in buying anything. In fact, the only thing in clear, sharp focus in Petal Pushers is the store clerk. 

And what he really wants is to test this _Alex_.

He wants to know if he'll be pursued. Wants to know if Alex will follow him through the store like a lost puppy or try to flirt with him or ask him out.

It doesn’t come. He peeks through the slits in the shelf, watches the way Alex fruitlessly taps the bottom of his pencil over his notebook. He's still slouching over the counter, a pout on his face and that's criminal.

This boy cannot realistically be this beautiful.

He doesn’t get followed and honestly, it freaks him out a little.

Alex doesn’t even approach him. He doesn’t look up once to survey the store– what if Willie was shoplifting for god's sake? –, just sits there in his own little bubble. And Willie is pretty sure he needs to know him, needs to have Pink-Hoodie in his orbit. 

So despite all the lectures and lessons he’s heard and learned, he falls in love with a human being. Falls in love with the snort of laughter that leaves Alex’s mouth when he goofs around the store. And falls in love with the challenge of a mask off when he turns back to see the masquerade mask adorning Alex’s face. He falls in love with his smiles and his tears and the way Alex holds him so gently and most of all, he falls in love with Alex's little bubble of mundanity. For the first time, Willie doesn’t think a human's life is phenomally boring. Because Alex finds ways to make his endurable. Finds something interesting in his little world everyday; slowly unwraps gift paper and thumbs over band tee texts and plays along with goofy antics and taps out the beats of his favourite songs on the glass counter.

And god, whether Alex knows it or not, he holds Willie's livelihood in the palm of his hands. Alex is joy. He's the rush of mundanity and a world of microcosmic pleasures and Willie has never been happier, feels like he's hooked.

But like Willie very well knows, nothing lasts.

His story with Alex ends prematurely but inevitably.

Alex has sharp observation, he sees everything but says nothing. And Alex is intelligent, more than most and it scares Willie who is, truth be told, shit at hiding secrets. Fifteen decades of being a secret and he still can’t conceal what he truly is. 

So the unspoken break up shouldn’t be a surprise. Not when Willie hasn’t even been trying to hide that he’s been lying to Alex because he honestly doesn’t want to anymore. Feels his insides churn everytime he tells Alex a lie and watches the way Alex’s eyes lose a little light when he figures it out. 

Alex tells him everything he’s tolerated.

 _You weren’t with your cousins when you disappeared…_

No, he wasn’t. He just couldn’t be around Alex, not if he wants Alex to live. 

_Your eyes keep changing colour and I can’t keep up with them..._

It’s emotions. It’s his mood. It’s Alex. Every colour is his love for Alex in a different shade of brown. 

_And you’re most definitely not a runner even though that’s all you seem to know how to do when you’re around me._

He’s fast on his feet. It comes with the curse. He can’t help it. Not when Alex falls and almost hurts himself, not when Willie can do something to stop it.

He’s reckless around Alex, he knows he is. More than usual. More than his daily quota. Maybe it’s because he knows he doesn’t want to hide with Alex. He’s conflicted. He doesn’t want to hide but he does run from Alex. Wars with himself with needing to stand too close, press into Alex’s space, but fleeing when things get too serious, when he realizes he's gotten too reliant, like he can’t breathe without Alex.

He’s found his will to live in the form of soft, tender Alex and he can't have it, have him.

_And you’re not a runner even though that’s all you seem to know how to do when you’re around me._

Not because of just the truth but because he's scared of how Alex would perceive him when he does find out who – what– he is.

Alex gives him back the charm bracelet and pretends he’s just another stranger in the store, doesn’t even bat an eye when he walks out.

And that’s why Willie pursued him, didn’t he? Because Alex approaches things differently. Because he doesn't take his shit like everyone around him is forced to.

He's about to leave the party because he's honestly had enough when he sees him.

Alex.

Dressed in a light pink coat jacket and a bell sleeved collared white shirt tucked into black dress pants. He looks the epitome of beauty and grace and Willie drinks him in like he can’t get enough.

He has his friends with him. Reggie. And Bobby. And Luke who has Julie hanging off his arm. 

And they are all fucking humans except for Julie. Julie who should know better than to invite a bunch of fresh-bloods in a party full of-

Willie pushes forward, signals a hand to Dante and Fuego who are standing in the corner, talking quietly. They come swiftly, follow him. They swerve together through throngs of party-goers who pretend to busy themselves in dancing and pouring wine but really, their razor sharp eyes are drawn to the four human boys that have just entered the room.

Willie steps right up to the group, stops them in their path and glowers at Julie.

"Julie, what the fuck?" He hisses, ignore the way Alex steps back at his voice and Luke shields Julie with his shoulder, all defensive mode. If anything, he wants to laugh. "You brought _humans_ here?"

"What's your problem, man?" Luke exclaims like he's not making a scene in the middle of a death trap.

"Will, calm down. I got Caleb's permission. They're safe as long as they stay with me."

Willie has heard that before. Caleb always promises the humans safety but by the end of the night, they're either dead or one of them and Willie doesn't want that for Alex. Not Alex or his friends. They deserve the joys of mortality and the calmness of a real beating heart, not the constant animalistic rage and hunger inside them. 

And he can't help but fear the worst. He's seen this in dreams, in _nightmares_. Seen the life leave Alex's eyes in them and he wants to scream because Alex is right where he sees him in his nightmares, right in the centre of the peril. 

_He’s in danger. Danger. Danger._

_Danger._

Danger because Willie wasn't there to protect him, wasn't there to convince Alex how bad of an idea coming here tonight was. They weren’t together, he couldn’t have known Alex was coming here- If they had been, Willie would’ve stopped this before it could’ve ever happened. 

That's the punchline, isn’t it? He thought staying away from Alex was keeping him safe but now Alex is here. Even when Willie has done everything in his power to stay away, restrained himself from running back to his side, Alex Mercer has still managed to dive headfirst into the deepest end of the darkest corner in Willie's world.

It’s not the first time he regrets not making up with Alex but it is the first time it feels like he’s been slapped across the face for his pretentious sacrifice in their relationship. 

_He hasn’t been keeping Alex safe by keeping him at arm's length and staying away from him, he has been putting him in more danger._

"Julie, he's a liar. He's not planning on letting them leave. Trust me when I say this, no human has ever left his parties alive." Willie utters the words quietly like he's afraid Caleb is around some corner just waiting to strike.

Horror fills Julie's eyes and she pales when she finally understands.

_Her friends are the feast. Luke is the feast._

She tightens her hold around Luke's wrist.

Willie can tell Alex is confused and the way he holds the hand of the boy next to him, who Willie guesses is Bobby, he's afraid too.

"We have to go." Julie whispers, tugs Luke back towards the grand entrance and ushers the rest to follow them. Luke goes with her, knows something is wrong without the need to question it, and Bobby and Reggie turn to follow them but Alex doesn't budge. 

He stands there and watches Willie, challenges him to make him move, make him leave.

This is not a good time. There are more eyes on them now.

Eyes glancing furiously at Alex's jugular and Alex knows the danger. He's somehow figured out that Willie is in something big and he wants to know the truth.

_So be it._

Willie seizes Alex's wrist in his hand, ignores the gasp of surprise that leaves Alex's mouth, and disregards the way Bobby and Reggie grunt in disapproval when he aggressively pulls Alex away. 

"Go. He'll be right behind you." Willie barks at them. When they make no move to follow Julie and Luke, stay standing there stubbornly waiting for Alex like they're his guard dogs, loyal to him – Willie guesses that's what true friendship really is: waiting patiently –, Willie sics Dante and Fuego on them. 

The men grab Reggie and Bobby, drag them back towards the exit despite their struggles to get to Alex.

Alex looks back at them, tries to twist out of Willie’s grip on his wrist when he sees the way his friends are being treated. "Let me go. Willie! _Willie._ At least, tell your goons to let my friends go." 

_Goons._

Willie would laugh if this was any other circumstance except right now, he's angry.

Angry at Alex for being so fucking stubborn. Angry at himself for letting Alex get so close to his world. Angry for not giving newly-turned Julie enough guidance to make the right choices and to never ever, for the love of god, trust Caleb. And he's angry at Caleb for stringing a web so enticing it draws in unsuspecting lifers like mindless flies. He's seen countless humans tricked into these parties, sent out in body bags or soulless. He just never expected the said unsuspecting human to be someone he cared so much about.

He knows this is poetic justice, the universe's way of telling him that he never cared when it was other humans being sent to their deaths, not until Alex came along. Cosmic revenge. Alex's life for all the lives lost and Willie won't stand for it.

"They'll be fine. Fuego, Dante and Julie, they'll get your friends out, to safety."

"What is safety, Willie? Hmm? You've never even told me what you're protecting me from? And you never will. Because you're a liar and a coward!"

That hurts but more than anything, it frustrates Willie. All he's ever wanted is the best for Alex even if that meant walking out of his life and here Alex is calling him a coward. _Again._ Again, like the first time wasn't enough. 

Willie stops all of a sudden, lurches Alex forward so they are in a small corridor, away from prying eyes but it doesn't change the fact that Alex is in trouble and that he smells like a three-course-meal to every patron in a five block radius.

“You can't be here.” Willie takes the last few steps towards Alex, his nose flaring with barely restrained rage as he crowds into his space and Alex has no choice but to shuffle back until he's cornered. Alex’s head thuds softly against the wall behind him when Willie leans in and braces his hands on either side of him. He furrows his eyebrows, glares at Alex like he's done something wrong.

And maybe he has. He wants the truth and the truth will get him killed. So it is wrong that Alex lacks self-preservation, is dead set on something that is bound to get Caleb's attention. Willie shudders just thinking about it. His breath rushes over Alex's lips, making them tingle with memories of tender kisses and mingled breaths.

Alex's resolve almost shatters. 

But Willie has been acting so different, irate and patronizing, no longer that playful soul he'd met in the store. It's only peeled back more of Alex's buried emotions of hurt and infuriation so his words come out harsher than he means them to be. "You don't get to make that decision for me." 

Willie’s eyes widen like he doesn’t expect such fury. Alex didn't even show this much anger when he broke up with him but Willie is sure it was simmering just underneath the skin waiting to boil over.

Sometimes when he locked eyes with Alex when they were dating, he could see the frustration, the helplessness and restlessness of knowing their relationship had holes, not like an old homely sock but like a volcano leaking out lava, on the verge of destruction.

Willie deflates, closes his eyes for a second and breathes Alex in. Tries to calm down because he's rubbing Alex the wrong way. It doesn't help that Alex’s heart is beating too wildly and that his usual smell of citrus and pinewood is all-encompassing.

He sighs softly, bumps his nose against the side of Alex's cheek and slides his face down to Alex's neck, grazes the skin there with his teeth. Alex gasps, brings his hands up to cradle Willie's face and moves his head away from his throat.

It feels like he's pushed too far until he flicks his gaze up, meets Alex's eyes again. There's a soft heat and haze behind them and an intensity in the red colouring Alex's face, warm blood rushing into his cheeks. Willie wants to drown in that expression.

Willie knows his eyes are just one shade away from golden today, sees the way Alex tries to decipher them. He won't be able to. He won't be able to tell that Willie is in love with him and that his eyes keep changing colours because of his inability to control his emotions around Alex like he's some novice. Alex would never understand how much he unravels Willie.

He surges forward, catches Alex's lips with his own. Feels the thunderous roar just under his skin when Alex kisses back, curling his fingers tightly around Willie's hair.

An explosion of locked feelings scatter out onto the surface of Willie's rusting heart, warming it up with renewal. He feels like he's been singed by the hottest fire and swayed by the gentlest hand at the same instance. Alex's touch is all it takes. All it takes to bring Willie to life again and Willie wants _more, more, more-_

The sound of feet nearby and the urgency of the situation force him to pull away, not enough that he can't still feel Alex's soft breaths on his face but enough that he can look around, watch their surroundings for any sign of threats.

"Hi." Alex mumbles like he's seeing Willie for the first time and Willie turns his head, focuses back on him. There's those fresh eyes again like the past two months of longing and despair and pining were a fever dream and already forgotten. Willie presses in closer, tries to absorb the heat Alex constantly provides into his cold skin. Tries to memorize the way Alex's gentle fingers press into the curve of his cheeks, locking it into his mind permanently because he can't meet Alex after he tells him. Can't keep seeing him, not if he wants Alex to live his life.

_He tries. He really tries. But it's nagging him. His injustice towards Alex. The hurt he's dealt him. He can't do this to Alex. He can't leave him without telling him how sorry he is._

"I'm sorry, 'lex. I'm _sorry_ for everything. I'm sorry for lying to you." He whispers into the air between them and Alex's heart clenches at the genuine regret on Willie's face.

"It's- It's okay." Alex says softly, swallowing the lump in his throat because for the first time in a while, Willie is being open and honest. Alex can't help the absolute elation he feels flowing through his blood at the change.

_But it's not okay._

Alex forgives too easily. It's not fair. Willie doesn't deserve such gentleness. Not from anyone but especially not from Alex.

They stand there for a moment, quiet and close like staying away from each other has left them deprived and the withdrawals are kicking in. And then Willie remembers where they are again, peels himself away from Alex.

"You need to leave right now." Willie grips Alex's shoulder, trying to get him to understand the urgency of the situation.

"No. Not until you tell me what's going on." Alex replies, knitting his brows together at the constant tug-of-war of emotions on Willie's face.

Willie huffs in frustration before he makes up his mind. There is really no other option other than the truth in front of him, not if he wants Alex out of here without any conflict.

“You want the truth, Alex? Here's the truth. _Everyone_ at this party is a _vampire_. And I'm trying not to get you _killed_ so I need you to stop being so fucking stubborn for one minute.”

He expects Alex to laugh likes he's told a joke, maybe freak out, maybe do both. Most people do and then, they run as if Willie couldn't just catch them if he so pleased. But Alex just blinks like that's old news.

_Oh._

"But you already knew that, didn't you?" 

"Somewhere between two days and a moment ago when you smelled me like that was normal human interaction. But I was starting to connect some of the dots months before. The being-out-in-the-sun thing stubbed me though. I think I had werewolf on the list too." Alex points out, threads a hand through the front of his hair to swoop them back. Willie watches with fascination when they fall over Alex's forehead and eyes again. 

He figured it out but still made Willie come out and say it even though he knew perfectly well how much Willie was struggling to tell him the truth. He guesses it's well-earned payback for all the lies and inconsiderations he has put Alex through. 

He can't be mad. Not when he's so amused that Alex had made a list of monsters he could be and challenged him on every turn even when he clearly knew Willie wasn't all human. 

He wants to kiss Alex again but he couldn't have picked a worse time to be brilliant and beautiful. Willie controls himself, smiles like he hasn't since October.

"The sun thing is a myth." He chuckles, brings a hand up to tuck Alex's hair away from his eyes and still finds himself surprised when Alex doesn't flinch away. "You're not freaking out?" 

"No. Not when you're right here." Alex knits his fingers through Willie's, squeezes them like he's grounding himself. Willie can't help dwell on the idea that Alex trusts him, a vampire, with his life when Willie could rip him apart if he lost control or could easily get him killed by the company he keeps. 

_You're right here._

Alex is right. Willie is right there, he'll protect him. _No matter what._

He tightens his hold on Alex's hand and tugs him back out towards the exit. "We have to go." 

They're almost to the door when something– someone– slams into Willie. His hand rips away from Alex and he's sent flying back. His head smacks cruelly against a wall, his vision blackening completely for a few seconds. He can feel the hand around his throat, squeezing, tightening but what brings him back to consciousness is the way Alex screams for him.

There’s world-shattering fear in his voice and Willie’s body fills with rage, feral in a way he’s not been in a long time. He tries to clear his vision, can’t blink past the blur but he claws viciously at the hand holding him back, sees an unfocused pink fuzz – _Alex_ – struggling with arms from over a mauve suited shoulder. He’s punctured the hand around his throat with holes, feels the slick of blood on cold skin but he doesn’t care. He needs to get to Alex.

Terror he’s only ever felt in his sleep flashes like white hot pain through his body. 

_They’re all coming true, his nightmares._

_They are hurting Alex and he can’t do anything, he’s helpless. He can’t save him._

Willie’s vision paints itself red and he feels his canines grow out. He’s going to bite off the hand if he has to-

Alex screams again, this time it’s guttural and laced with _pain_ before it cuts off abruptly and that terrifies him more than hearing his screams. His eyes clear but he can’t see Alex now, doesn’t know where he is.

He looks into irises outlined by festering blood red. Feels the presence he’s been trying to avoid all night. His stepfather is holding him back, a deranged smile on his face and a blood-hungry look in his eyes. 

_No. No. No. No. No. No._

_Where’s Alex? Where the fuck is Alex?_

“What the fuck did you do?” Willie growls, goes to sink his teeth into Caleb's hand but Caleb slams his head back against the wall. He loses all consciousness before he can get any far.

* * *

He comes back slowly, can hear the din of a party he was supposed to leave. 

_Supposed to leave with Alex._

He jerks up like he’s been electrocuted, immediately knows he can’t move. He’s clasped down to a chair, can feel the prinkling, scorching sting of holy water laced chains around his wrists. They deem him practically useless and his chest tightens, making it hard for him to breath.

It’s so Caleb. To shackle him up on a stage otherwise setup for performances like Willie is the entertainment tonight.

He wants to throw up. 

Even with a room full of people, his eyes find Alex without a second glance. It doesn't help that almost every other pair of eyes are also weighted down on the presence of the only human in the room. 

Horror jolts through Willie’s body at the sight before him.

Caleb’s right hand man, Alfonso, keeps Alex upright and unmoving, standing right underneath the spotlight of the moon under the sunroof. He has wrenched Alex’s arms back violently like he struggled way too much for it to be convenient and Willie wants to murder the man when he sees the pain twisting into Alex’s expression. 

Caleb has staged it like one of his performances and Willie can’t stand it. He can’t stand to see Alex trussed up like some sacrificial lamb. 

Slivers of moonlight catch the tear tracks on Alex’s face, makes his complexion shimmer like he’s one of them. And if it wasn’t for the very fresh-blood, very alive smell, Alex could easily be mistaken for one of them. He’s beautiful beyond any creature Willie’s ever seen, even with the red rimmed eyes and weaves of messy golden hair falling over his forehead. 

What surprises Willie is the hardened look on Alex’s face like he’s not afraid anymore. Like if he’s going to die, he’ll face it head-on. There’s not a day Alex doesn’t amaze Willie, even when the situation is dire, Alex shows him courage he can only dream of.

Willie doesn’t see any blood, can’t smell it either and something loosens in his chest. He knows they hurt him, there's bruising on the side of Alex’s temple, but not enough to draw blood. That would’ve sent the bloodsuckers crowding the halls over the edge. This could’ve ended _very_ badly– more than it already has.

When they lock eyes, Alex’s face crumbles for a second, a tear rolling down his cheek, but he bites his lips, holds back the words he wants to say when his gaze flits to someone over Willie’s shoulder.

“No, don’t stop on my account, _‘lex_.” Caleb says, his voice shrill in the echo of the room. The nickname feels like Willie’s been stabbed right in the chest. Like his heart is bleeding out into his lungs and stomach, choking him. 

_Fuck._

_Fuck._

Caleb has been in his head, seen his memories, knows who Alex is. 

He had thought about convincing his stepfather to let Alex go before but now that feels like a far-fetched dream. Not when Caleb knows how important Alex is.

“Caleb, No! Please! Please, don’t hurt him. I’ll do anything- Caleb-” Willie whips his head to look at Caleb but the man doesn’t even spare him a glance. He walks past him entirely and Willie catches the pearl-white fangs just as he descends the stair.

No. No. No. _No. No. No._ **_NO._ **

“No!” Willie screams, lurches forward in his chair like he’ll magically escape if he tries hard enough.

Alex doesn’t stop looking at him. Eyes locked on him like he’s trying to take in all the details. Commit him to memory. _Like it’s his last time._

Willie shakes his head, tries to translate to him that no matter what happens, he wouldn’t let Alex die, that he doesn’t have to _look_ at him like that. 

_Please, not like that. Please, Alex. Don’t give up. Don’t give up on me._

But he’s stuck. He feels powerless and he doesn't know if Alex believes him. Not when Willie has done nothing to make him believe him. He has broken promises and caused intentional diversions and spewed insincerities. 

Alex flares his nose like he’s breathing hard and trying to keep the sob behind his teeth. Willie knows Alex doesn’t want to look weak but Alex doesn’t know that Willie thinks he’s the strongest person he’s met in all of his fifteen decades of this curse.

Caleb steps right up to Alex, shadows him with his looming height. Willie thrashes against the chains, ignores the way the holy water burns and the restraints tear open his arms. 

He swears the blood slick the chains enough that they loosen slightly.

“You know, Alex, he’s dreamt about you. They are never good dreams, always end with you lying dead in a ditch somewhere, with a bloody bite right here.” Caleb presses a forefinger near Alex’s left collarbone. Willie grits his teeth when Alex’s eyes widen at his words, when he flinches slightly at the cold touch of Caleb's hand against his skin. “You’d think a man would treat you better in his dreams but Willie’s never been an optimist.”

Alex darts his eyes over to Willie. 

_Willie has been having nightmares about his death. Has been struggling with so much while telling Alex nothing._

He shudders at the mere thought of Willie fighting alone with something so _horrifying_. 

He looks back at Caleb, at the sneer on his face and the red ring around his icy blue eyes. There’s a insanity in the twist of his face, it makes Alex want to crawl into a hole.

There’s lead on Alex’s tongue and he can’t speak a word in front of this man. Not when just his presence is like a thick pressure around his throat and chest, tearing him up.

“Well, we shouldn’t keep Willie waiting. Let’s make his dreams come true.” With a flick of his wrist, Caleb is gripping Alex's hair, wrenching his head to the side and Alex yelps at the searing pain in his scalp. 

He hears Willie in the background again, he’s screaming like he’s in physical pain. Alex tries to search him out again, tries to look past Caleb but he’s too close, too broad and Alex doesn’t want to die without seeing Willie one last time. 

Caleb pays Willie no mind, tilts Alex’s head to get better access to his throat. He presses his fangs into the hollow of Alex's neck without breaking the skin like he’s playing with his food and Alex whimpers, struggles against the arms at his back again. 

_He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t want to die yet-_

“Kill me instead!” Willie exclaims, breathlessly but firm and with conviction and that stops Caleb in his path. He turns his head, side-eyes Willie like he’s nothing more than an irritating inconvenience but Willie knows he’s caught his stepfather’s attention. “Let him go. _Kill me_ instead.”

The room is silent for a moment like Caleb is considering it. Alex’s breath freezes in his lungs when Caleb doesn’t just laugh it off. He loosens his grip on Alex's hair like he’s already made up his mind.

_Is this what it was all about? A scare tactic? Was Caleb using him as leverage to get to Willie?_

_Was this a setup from the beginning to get to Willie?_

Everything makes sense all of a sudden.

The “I can’t tell you”s, the secretiveness, not wanting Alex to be anywhere near his friends or in his world for that matter. The overprotectiveness and the careful way Willie touched him like he was made of glass sometimes.

Willie is untouchable but Alex isn't. He’s human, he's delicate and by the way Caleb knows exactly which buttons to push, he is important to Willie. Which makes him a target. Which makes him someone that can be used against him.

He can be used against Willie. _He_ is _being used against Willie._

Everything makes sense. And Alex feels like a fool for not listening, for being so curious, it was going to get Willie killed.

_He’s going to fix his mistake._

He shakes his head jerkily, comes alive with renewed struggle. “No! _No!_ Leave him alone! Kill me!”

Caleb turns back to him, leers over Alex’s shoulder at his man struggling to keep a simple human at bay. 

Alfonso nods his head, clamps a hand over Alex’s mouth to quieten him down, twists his arm further behind his back as a warning. But Alex doesn’t stop writhing and thrashing, not when tears fall from his face from the pain and not when his body aches with exertion.

Willie pulls at his chains again, feels ferocity run him. He turns his alarmingly red eyes towards Alfonso. 

_Stop hurting him. I’ll rip you to fucking shreds. Stop hurting him._

The grip around Alex’s wrist loosens all together. He groans in relief, watching the way the scarlet fades from Willie’s eyes, back to golden brown.

He’s never seen Willie like that. Almost animalistic, not all human and Alex doesn't entirely know how to feel about it.

“You’re willing to give up your life for some _human_?” Caleb turns back to Willie, screws his mouth up like he’s tasted something bitter, as if he’s disgusted by the mere thought of loving a human. Of course, he is. He sees humans and he sees food, an all-you-can-eat-buffet, not someone with a life or a family or friends. “You’d die for _him_?”

“Yes.” Willie says, doesn’t even hesitate.

_He’d do anything for Alex Mercer._

It’s clear that Caleb doesn’t get it, won’t ever get it. He’s lived hundreds of centuries and there’s never been a heart in the cavity of his chest. Willie knows the story of when he was alive. He knows of Caleb Covington, the tyrant. He hurt people when he had a soul so having none doesn’t change him.

“Let him go. And you can kill me.” Willie grits out. “Make it a deal you cannot break. You can’t touch him when I’m gone. None of your followers can. Or you’ll fall. The Covington Clan _will_ fall, I’ll make sure of it.”

The panic churns in Alex’s chest until he’s breathing too fast.

_He cannot let this happen. He cannot let this fucking happen._

So he does the only thing he can think of to create a distraction big enough that he can halt the deal.

-

Willie is relieved. He’s never done anything right in his life except for Alex and now he can make sure he stops making anymore mistakes with him (if he’s not alive to make them), can make sure Alex is safe. So he’s okay having to give up his life for one that’s far more important to him.

Caleb is steadily ready to make the deal. He’s wanted to have some excuse to kill Willie for the longest time, thinks he’s too powerful and too dangerous. The only thing stopping him are the Coven rules but if the filthy humanpath is entirely willing to die of his own volition, who’s Caleb to stop him?

Willie is counting on Caleb’s power hunger to get his way. He’s just about to demand they let go of Alex, let him leave because there is no way he’s letting him watch what’s about to take place next when they hear the scream.

Alfonso has let Alex go, holds his hand to his chest in pain before he glowers at Alex, a murderous glint in his eyes. 

“You fucking bit me!” He growls.

It happens fast. Alfonso cracks a hand across Alex’s face, tears the skin of his lip with his rings. Every eye hones in on the blood dripping down Alex’s chin when he collapses to the ground from the impact. Alex whips his head up, looks at the prowling shapes around him, red eyes predating and bright like a flurry of stars. He stands up slowly, tries to take careful steps away from the ravenous men and women closing in on him.

Willie watches the flare of noses, the crimson eyes and the restlessness settle over only decade old fledglings and _no! No. No. Not after everything he’s done to keep Alex safe._

_He was about to free him. He was about to free Alex! Why was this boy such an idiot?_

Alex doesn’t stand a chance on his own. Not when he’s nothing but a blood bag to them, not when they lack basic morality– they are fucking soulless, so is Willie but having decency and respect for the human race is obviously a selective trait – and definitely not when they can all move quicker than him even on his fastest pace.

Even Caleb breathes in the air, takes in the smell of fresh blood, momentarily distracted by the commotion.

Willie uses the diversion to struggle out of the chains he’s been working at. They slip past his bloody arms like butter and Willie can’t even bring himself to care that his skin is littered with extensive burns. Not right now. Not when Alex is one second away from being laid out as a feast.

He catches sight of a young man, not more than 20 years of age, charging towards Alex from his periphery.

Willie is next to Alex within half a second. Alex flinches at his sudden appearance before he recovers, slides his eyes over Willie like it’s really the time to be checking on him when Alex is the one bleeding in a party filled to the brim with bloodsuckers.

The first thing Willie does is haul back a fist and drive it right into Alfonso's face. The man falls back against the ground like dead weight. He wants to kick him for good measure but Alex shakes his head, wraps a hand around Willie's elbow. _Don't do it._

Willie turns back to him, circles one arm around Alex’s waist and pulls him close while throwing his other hand out to fling away the bloodsucker lunging at Alex. He smacks another over the face when he comes bolting towards them. Alex whips his head around, watches Willie take on one vampire after another on one injured arm. 

He’s terrified that at any moment Willie will keel over and die. The memory of watching Caleb squeeze the life out of Willie or the way he’d slammed his head against the wall is still fresh in the forefront of his mind. It doesn’t help that Willie’s arms have sleeves of scorched skin and bleeding gashes, but Willie is having no problem fighting and slowly moving them back towards the exit.

They both see Caleb shoving through the mass, murderous glint in his eyes as he steps towards them. Willie doesn’t even blink at him, like Caleb is a common nuisance, nothing to worry about. Alex begs to differ. The man almost killed him and he saw the raw fear in Willie’s eyes. He can't forget it.

_He’s trying to keep you calm, stupid._

“Wanna see a trick?” Willie turns to him, smiles dopily like this is just another Monday in his life. _Should Alex be worried?_

Alex indulges him. “Sure.”

“Then close your eyes when I snap my fingers and hold onto me.”

He can’t see the trick if he has his eyes closed but now is not the time to argue.

Willie snaps his fingers and Alex wraps his arms around Willie’s shoulders and clenches his eyes shut.

Every light in the grand room simultaneously flashes too bright, crackling with an increase in electricity. Screams of pain flood the room as partygoers cover their eyes from the blinding whiteness. Then, the lights shatter from the surging energy and the room goes completely black save for the glowing light of the moon.

Alex and Willie are already gone when they open their eyes.

* * *

Dr. Ray Molina is the only respectable vampire hunter around town and the irony that his daughter is a vampire herself is not lost on him. 

He’s not happy when Julie comes home with three teenage boys and Dante and Fuego behind her.

She tells him all about how she’d fucked up, believed Caleb, almost got humans killed. 

Ray ruffles her hair, pulls her into a hug and declares Caleb Covington a dead man like it's small talk.

Julie is inconsolable and Luke sticks to her like a second skin, holds her through it. 

Bobby wears the floor down with all his pacing because Alex hasn’t come back yet. Neither has Willie but Bobby doesn’t give a shit about some fucking bloodsucker who might’ve gotten his best friend in trouble (probably has gotten him killed by now). 

Reggie can’t stop scratching at his skin, a nervous tick but more than anything, something to focus on because he’s drowning in regret and agony. 

_He shouldn’t have left Alex behind. He shouldn’t have Alex left behind. He shouldn’t have left Alex behind._

Luke and Julie are the ones who feel the most guilt, they didn’t even look back to see if their friends were all there, following them out. Luke just let Julie tug him out with no concern for the people he calls his family. 

Ray keeps telling them Willie will come back with their friend and that they can’t leave. Tonight is a terrible night to go out, the town would be crawling with vampires this time of night. They’d already escaped death once, they wouldn’t be so lucky a second time.

“You can trust him.” Ray says and Bobby is starting to question whether they have different definitions of what a vampire _hunter_ is.

"The dipshit practically ripped Alex away from us, sent those morons after us.” Bobby grits his teeth, glares over at Dante and Fuego sitting near the door like they're guarding it – _fucking guard dogs._

“You want us to trust this guy? All he's ever done is hurt Alex. If I see him again, I'm gonna pummel him into the ground.” Luke curls his finger over the fabric of his slacks, anger simmering in his chest.

“You don’t get it-” Julie threads a hand through her messy curls. “He was trying to protect Alex.”

“That’s a load of bullshit.” Reggie says from the couch, chews at the nail of his thumb. It’s the first time he’s spoken in a while and his eyes look swollen like he’s been crying quietly. “I saw Alex lose all love for his favourite things over him. We had to practically drag him to this party. I thought- I thought it would get his mind off of what happened on Thursday.”

“What did happen? Alex just...ran off.” Julie asks, remembers back to the glint of tears in Alex’s eyes as he took off from the coffee shop.

Willie had gone quiet afterwards, made some terrible excuse and left early. 

“Willie did something to Alex. I don’t know what it was, Alex didn’t tell us. But afterwards, he wouldn't say a word. I’ve never seen him so quiet.” Reggie breathes out shakily, lays his head down on his knees. Bobby sits down next to him, curls an arm around his shoulders and tucks into him, trying at comfort.

It's exactly two hours later when the doorbell rings. 

It's Willie. He's carrying Alex in his arms and Alex has his eyes closed and his nose tucked into the hollow of Willie's neck like he's planning on living there forever.

They both look like they've walked through hell but they're alive and that's all that matters right now.

* * *

Alex sits on the edge of the Molina House kitchen counter at 12:00 am in the morning with Willie between his legs.

This is not how Alex wanted the first day of the new year to go but he tries not to complain. Because he's also pretty sure he imagined it Willie-less and the mere idea of that makes his chest tighten.

Willie brought him here instead of taking him home almost out of instinct, told him it was where he came when he needed to be safe.

_And he needs Alex to be safe._

So now, Willie stands in front of him, his fingers at Alex's jaw to keep him steady as he softly dabs at the cut on his lip.

The boys hover nearby, watching the two of them with hawk eyes like they think they're going to burst into flames any minute.

Julie has escaped to the garage with her dad the minute she smelled the blood on Alex, didn't want to risk attacking him even though she's fed for the week.

"How are you...uh...controlling your...urge?" Alex asks quietly, like he doesn't know how to word it without offending Willie. He thumbs at the white sleeves of his dress shirt. He's pretty sure he's gotten blood on the fabric and it's a rental.

Willie discards the red tinted cotton swab, grabs another to clean the blood that's slipped down Alex's chin.

"Oh. I'm not hungry. I always make sure I've had a meal before I'm around you." Willie says the words so cooly, shrugging his shoulders like it's everyday conversation, that Alex can't help but be fascinated.

Willie hadn't expected to see Alex today but he thanks his lucky stars that he's had his fill anyway so this, the blood, doesn't affect him as much. 

"Oh." _That's...awfully considerate._ Something warm coils around Alex's chest.

Bobby scoffs from where he's leaning against the kitchen wall. "Oh, that's great. So you suck someone dry before you see Alex? Fantastic!"

It's harsh and Alex glares at Bobby, mouths "behave" when Willie looks away to search the first aid kit. Bobby shakes his head, points at Willie's back and mouths "bitch." 

_It's official. Alex has children for best friends_.

"No neck biting if that's what you're implying. I have a guy at the local blood bank." Willie says, peeling off the plastic of the only butterfly bandaid he's found in the kit and pressing it onto the cut on Alex's mouth with careful fingers.

"How'd he get hurt anyway? Thought you were supposed to keep him safe?" Luke mentions, looks at Willie like he's planning his murder. They all see the way Willie winces like Luke's words lodge themselves deeply into his chest. 

"It was my fault, _Luke._ I antagonized the bad guy." Alex grits out, narrows his eyes at his dumbshit friend. 

"Yeah? Is that how you got the bruise on your head too?" Reggie pipes in like they haven't railed on Willie enough.

Willie swallows like his throat has dried out and he turns away, goes to grab frozen peas from the freezer and Alex looks over at the boys disapprovingly.

_What the hell is wrong with all of you?_

They are being extremely fucking rude right now and Alex wants to shake some sense into them.

"Here." Willie presses the pack just above his left eye and smiles apologetically when Alex shivers.

"Thanks." Alex smiles, a soft pink dusts his cheeks when Willie moves hair away from his face so they don't get between the ice pack and the bruise. Alex takes the pack from him and does it himself, sticks his tongue out when Willie pouts. 

"How're your arms?"

"They're okay already. Fast healing. See." Willie hangs his arms over Alex's shoulders and moves closer and Alex laughs but tilts his head to look at Willie's arms anyway like he wants to make sure. "I'm fine, 'lex." 

Hearing it from Willie's mouth again alleviates the queasy feeling from when Caleb called him that earlier, and Alex can't help but move up and press a kiss to Willie's forehead, close to the hairline. "I'm glad."

Reggie, Luke and Bobby all watch them quietly. They see it. They want to be furious at Willie right now but he's incredibly gentle with Alex and Alex is smiling again. 

Some of the core hatred they feel for Willie melts away little by little by each soft gesture he does. It's a far cry from forgiving him but they know they'll get to it eventually.

Willie breathes through his nose, grabs Alex's hand in both of his own before he turns to the boys. "I know I messed up. I'm sorry. I know I really hurt Alex and I don't deserve your forgiveness but I'm hoping you guys would give me a chance to prove that I just want to make him happy." 

They are stunned. Alex has said time and time again that he is sincere and kind and _trying_ but it's not until they witness some of Willie themselves do they see it.

Willie is watching them, waiting patiently for a response. 

They all exchange glances at each other before looking at Alex who nods his head, juts out his bottom lip as a form of "please" and they sigh.

"Apology accepted." Luke says briefly like he's still a little mad but he's happy Willie is making an effort. "Conditionally."

Willie accepts it, beams and squeezes Alex's fingers.

"But if you ever try to separate me from Alex again or put him in danger, I'm going to kill you myself." Bobby hisses out as an afterthought, glowering at Willie.

"Hurt him or break his heart and it's fucking _over_ for you." Reggie adds.

"Are you guys done giving him the shovel talk?" Alex asks exasperatedly. He rolls his eyes for what feels like the umpteenth time since they arrived at the house.

"Never going to be done." Bobby mutters before he swings his legs over the couch, between Reggie and Luke and they turn to switch on the TV to give them privacy.

"And I'm okay with that." Willie calls after him. He faces Alex again, a sudden seriousness to his expression.

"I'm sorry."

That's the second time Willie has apologized to Alex just hours apart and it makes Alex a little worried.

"Is this the breakup apology? Like 'I'm sorry, it's not you, it's me.'" Alex asks, curls his fingers around the edge of the counter but Willie shakes his head, chuckles softly.

"I'm sorry I put you in danger today. I promise I'll do better next time." Willie lowers his eyes, looks away from Alex but Alex isn't having it.

He wraps his hands around Willie's shoulders, reels him back into his space and tries to catch his wandering eyes. "Would you look at me?"

Willie does, he focuses back on Alex. "It's not your job to protect me. But it is your job to be an equal part in this thing." Alex vaguely gestures between them: their relationship. "You have to tell me the truth. No more secrets. Please." 

"No more secrets. I promise." Willie's voice trembles and Alex thinks maybe he's pushed too far but Willie looks relieved like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders. "No more secrets. Just us."

"Just us." Alex agrees, smiles, his world starting to fix itself little by little when Willie presses cold fingers against his neck, tucks his thumbs behind Alex's ears and kisses him with such conviction, such longing and love that it makes Alex dizzy.

* * *

Alex tosses the gold wrapped gift box at Willie the next time he enters the store.

He's found it at the bottom of his backpack, unopened and abandoned but never forgotten. It has haunted Alex that he hasn't opened Willie's anniversary gift to him when Willie has opened his already. But he can't bring himself to do it even if the curiosity kills him. Not without Willie present.

Willie catches it without looking but a flash of hurt crosses his face when he sees what it is. 

"Oh." Willie scratches at his neck, thinks Alex is rejecting the gift and tries to tamp down on the despair climbing up his throat.

"Now give it to me yourself or I don't want it." Alex leans against the counter, raises a brow at Willie to get a move on and Willie's face changes lighting fast, lights up with surprise as he nods his head in barely contained excitement like he's just won the lottery.

He plays along and Alex can't help the fondness warming his chest.

He steps up in front of the counter, bends over to press a kiss to Alex's cheek.

"Happy anniversary, 'lex." He says softly even though the time has long since passed to say those words, settles the small box into Alex's waiting hands.

Alex pretends like it's their first time, like he hadn't indirectly called Willie a coward the last time he was given the gift.

He's delighted at the smile on Willie's face like Alex is the best thing that's ever happened to him and Alex wonders what brought it on. If anything he was scared Willie would be insulted that he still hadn't opened the gift even though Alex was in the right for not doing it, not when they were fighting.

"Thank you." Alex ducks his head, tries to hide his blush and his toothy grin and gently unfolds the wrapping paper.

Willie plays with his hands, nervously fiddles with the silver ring on his pinky finger. The ring Alex gave him. It’s exhilarating to know it's becoming Willie's comfort thing.

Alex uncovers the box carefully, doesn't know what he's expecting – Willie always finds a way to surprise him –but it's definitely not the charm. It's two small figurines holding hands and when Alex focuses in on the details, he knows it's custom made. 

One figurine has long hair that ends just past his shoulders. He holds a skateboard in the hand not taken up by the other figurine and sports a crop top and shorts. The other one is dressed in a hoodie and long pants and holds drumsticks in his unoccupied hand.

And Alex can just imagine someone with agile fingers carving out all those little details into the little statuettes, putting in careful effort and paying attention to every minute thing like they had spent their entire life waiting for the moment where they could make these little gold figurines for some thrift store employee's charm bracelet.

But it's not just the figurines that move him, make it feel like his heart has swelled and taken up space in more than his chest cavity. It's the little note inside, written out in slanted endearingly cursive scrawl.

**I'm not here to give it to you** **but I made this. It's just** **this little thing for you to add to your charm bracelet** **because you've reached another goal. You've** **conquered my heart. I'm sorry and I love you. Happy** **Anniversary.**

**Love, Willie ♡**

_Oh._

_My._

_God._

Willie made this. _Willie made the figurines. Willie carved out all the details with him in mind, them in mind. He probably spent months just to say:_

 _You've conquered my heart._ _You've conquered my heart. You've conquered my heart. You've conquered my heart._

Alex is crying. He feels like his heart will never stop stuttering at this point and he's _so happy_ that it feels like he's vibrating with the euphoria.

It's not fair. It's not fair that Willie expresses his love in ways Alex can't even fathom. It's not fair that he moves oceans to make Alex happy. The figurines are warming up in his clenched hand and lips brush his cheeks and Alex looks up with teary eyes, focusing back on Willie. Willie who's kissing his tears away with razor sharp focus like they've personally offended him.

_Alex wants to spend the rest of his life with this man._

Alex grabs Willie's face in his hands, pulls him in and kisses him like it's the only way he knows how to express his love for him. Willie interlaces their fingers together and kisses back, pours all of his feelings into it.

"I love you so much. I love you so much. I love you so much." Alex whispers against Willie's lip. Willie slowly opens his eyes and Alex sees the tears glistening there like Willie has been waiting forever to hear those words. Alex sniffles, says them again as if he's trying to brand them into Willie's lips and this time Willie echoes them back. 

The bell jingles above the door but they don't break apart.

And what a sight they must make. Just two boys finding their way back to each other and never planning on letting go now that they're within arm's reach. _Never again. No matter what. Just them, here, now, forever._

Just them. _Just a boy and his vampire._

**Author's Note:**

> If you see mistakes, I'm rusted metal.
> 
> Please comment, it makes my world go round. 
> 
> See playlist for this fic [here](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7aU2IQn4ZPJQ9vLCUqMMWj?si=WBr9D3BEQT2PiK0TvQcErg)
> 
> Find me on [theobligatedklutz](https://theobligatedklutz.tumblr.com) and come yell at me about what this fic.


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